The base of the deepest seas, the place from which we are born

The base, the root, the start of it all. Will our words find a home or will they all fall, down down down like the tears upon our cheeks. Is it different generations that don’t understand? Or simply those who have not yet met themselves. Met themselves in the ways i have done, the lower i, the ego. Who am I to know where or how others have met themselves.

Must I be certain? Must I be cautious? Must I hold back on the creations that wish to be born? I am an artist after all, and all that I create is part of my art. I threw away the art from another, and it rips me apart in the inside. I pray my words will find a way to bring solace rather than being the anchor that drags us all down down down into the depths.

Do you ever see a place, an image and it resonates to some deep place of your soul?

There’s no one coming to save me. So I keep praying. Praying and praying. Upon plants and water and stars and eyelashes. Upon weed and cards and candles and the breath. I pray into the skies and to the trees. I pray for clarity, I pray for warmth, I pray to transform the pain into something I can gift to others that helps them thrive. I pray that what I share is worthwhile, I pray that I guide you to reach who you truly are. I pray that I, that you, that we, hold unconditional love for ourselves in each instance. Within each moment. No matter what comes forth.

No matter the mother or the father wounds that have been triggered and activated, may we hold love for ourselves. The little versions of us, the ones still in diapers, unchanged and crying. Wishing for someone to hold us and care for us. Only apply it if it reigns true. Maybe this becomes the soft blanket to fall. The space and the portal into and through compassion.

Is silence the cure? Is music an antidote or a distraction. An added ingredient to add more to the whole soup. What you crave is to be known, loved, seen, held in your fullness. What happens when that is provided. The light within the total eclipse of the night. We have crossed over the bridge and now our ancestors welcome us in to light the day. Guide us to listen, through the labyrinth of the corn. Be yourself! You were born different! Show it off and share it with the world.

One day, I heard, we will look back upon these times and laugh at how we wished to stay hidden, how we tried so hard to keep ourselves conformed into the boxes of what everyone else did. We will, we do, look back, with compassion and laughter and wonder why we ever wore the masks. Why we ever kept ourselves small. Because maybe one day, when I’m 40, there will be an employer that will see these words and think very unfondly of me and my expression. In that regard, I’m sure I will live within the outskirts of society, in the woods, with the lands. In harmony. We’ll see.

If you are my future employer, and you read these words and think of me poorly, please forgive me. Steer me towards a job that truly suits me and my honesty. It’s only gonna snowball and grow and you may not want that within your Fortune 500 company. Maybe I’ll just create my own.

Don’t be afraid of what might hurt, I wanna see you.

Again.

I don’t wanna just be your friend. I wanna know what the back of your farthest molars look like.

Yet still, the emptiness. Must be within. How exhausting, how much it feels to do it all the time. To always hold myself through the grief. To always be the one holding my hand, can’t it ever go away? All the suffering of the world. Can’t it ever stop? I’m tired and i don’t wanna see people hurting anymore. Why is it the way that it is? Why do I always swim to the bottom? Why is this what feels most Easy for me.

I’m sorry that I never was normal, always looking for the depths, always scouring the bottom. Hunting for meaning, I always find it, though sometimes it leaves me feeling the hollowness I see reflected back in the photos of your ex boyfriend on your cracked iPhone screen. I know the love was real, yet too was the depths of pain. I hope, I pray that he finds fullness within himself. No one can live like that forever. No amount of meditation can fill an empty vessel.

Maybe only creation can. Taking the empty, the hollow, the abyss and bringing in the lines and the light of divinity in and down, stringing tighter a great tapestry. We have so much empty space, so so so much empty space, maybe now is the time to fill it and to grow and to build something. A palace of light. I can live here for lifetimes. I can be anyone that I wish, High Lord of the night court. Can my fantasy realms bring me into a space of fullness? Is that what these modes of creation do?

I feel as though once I look up from this screen, witness the space and the world around, I feel as though I am a bit more full. Pulling these cords of light down and in. Illuminating the caverns and the caves. One day, I’m sure it will find its physical manifestation.

Do you disappear somewhere? Like outer space? The depths of your suffering pulled me in. A channel I had always travelled, so one that I knew, one that felt familiar. Like an old ache, we could feel it together, know ourselves in it. I hoped to, at least, someone who understood.

Then why delete your words as you start to float away, travel into the new realm? Away from what hurts? Maybe it’s best to let people to feel what they have within them, and use that as what guides us. I think that’s what I’m doing. It surely is. The vulnerability and rawness of the heart. This is me raw and real and relevant. Naked and exposed. The ways things move around and around and around and about.

Like the deserts miss the rain, some words may simply be for others. Yet for me I love it all. It may make you uncomfortable, it may make you squirm, yet for me this is what I love. This is what I love to do.

“Lighten up”

“Lighten up”

“Lighten up”

I am better at being odd than normal. And in this, I am revered by me. Reflecting kingdom energy. Born to know me. There is divination within my blood, within me, within you, when and as you’re ready to see.

You know what is up now. I see me, I see you. I draw in what is destined for my life’s highest needs. My embodiment is the truth. Chosen for this time here and now. Unlearning thousands of years of conditioning, I am here to be spiritually gifted. To share these gifts with the world, through my presence. Embodiment. Embodiment. Embodiment.

Those meant, come in, those not fall away. The heart activates. Pour into your own cup again and again and again. From love.

Theres more space opening up! I feel it. There’s more light filtering into the being. Maybe all that you needed to do was dance on the floor and feel the emptiness of your mind.

These words are my prayer to the worlds. This is my space of power. These pages are my gift, and it revives my soul yet it also opens up the channels of love within my being. Ones I may have otherwise wished to block. Yet through these channeling all that’s ready to open, for the greatest good of all opens with ease. It’s the prayer and it’s the promise, it’s easy, it’s full of love. It’s clean and it’s free and it feels open. It feels like leaning back into your arms and knowing that I am safe and I need not run away, nor do I need to place a different face upon your brow. There is sensation and there is energetic resonance and this is how I know, I feel, and in this I know. All others fall away. I am one with all.

I stand tall, I remember, I am one with all.

~

I am free on the light of God, I am free in the light of the Goddess, I am one with all. I am free in the light of love.

I remember.

I am one with all.

~

How can we keep forth with our creations? Taking the ugly, the unkind, the messy, the clean, making it something worthy of being seen. Do we proof read want we have made, do we change it into something else? As these thoughts of old circle and tumble, its half journal, its half creation. Is this what is used to make something raw and vulnerable? Is it better to save what we truly feel for ourselves and only give out what is of the light?

Is the creative process just as important as the result?

Changing the outcome in order to make others feel safer?

You’re night, all that I create is not always kind. It questions, and there’s another wall.

Who are you really trying to be? And do you want to be something other than who you are?

Walls come down like Jericho,

I don’t wanna be something for someone else, something to be fit into a box. I want to be me, free, these are my words to thee. Making a sacred process out of it all. There’s barbs and sharp edges that we are now pulling out with ease. I let the angels do this work for me now as I surrender.

It need not matter what others have to say about what I am here it share, the rawness the realness of it, it brings a sense of belonging to those that feel, that truly resonate. Yes, it may pull away from the pack, the traditional way of creating and designing a life and a future, yet it is effective and powerful in its own orientation.

The desire to be understood does come from within, yet to see within is the greatest reward. We travel across time and space like lightning.

Pluto in Sagittarius generation, we travel, we explore. We traverse, we learn, we yearn for the quest. The expansion of consciousness. The exploration across time and space. We yearn to break the bonds, the bonds, all that there is truth and that is the name of who we are, it’s the space to travel, it’s the ability to see, the desire to be. And play. And rise up and out and above, the only zodiac with the human mind rising out of the animal body. This is what we signed up for, this is how we change the waves. And holy shit it makes me feel fucking alive.

To do it with discernment I hear. This space was so heavy, this thick cloud of sticky brown and green. It’s like I rose my head up for a breath of air and within it is the suffocating cloud of someone’s empty words. Come from the heart I remind. They voice it as concern, take the necessary steps. I promise it’s worth it.

One step at a time, back into reality. Grounded and stable. Truth. We transform.

Out we rise.

Thank you for trusting. It’s time to fly.