Feel that damn feeling
The one in your chest right there, or by your ribs, the one that looked like all those creatures crawling and the one that you ran from. Feel it, feel it fully to heal it. And we will get through this thing together. Do we pickup other people’s karma from what of theirs we consume? Or is it our own? Tripping head over heels forward trying to find my way. The right and proper posture, the one that feels the most aligned and well and in love. Trying trying trying always trying so hard to just relax. What we do is we let go my dear. The worlds open up and life becomes so clear. The feeling is a passageway the one you’ve been searching for. Our voices will emerge in time. Distinct and different from the rest. Rest, breathe easy. The ships not going down, you’re just learning how to sail. How to live alive and well and in love. Heaven on earth we bring the skies down to the underworld and we celebrate our rebirth. The light of the soul is what lights it up you know. There’s no need to run and no where to hide. There’s little boys and little girls hidden under all of these piles of garbage and rubbish and there’s a great Kali ma here knocking at the door ready to free you. Let her in when you’re ready, she’ll help you to gobble up all that fear and use it as the source of your creation. We don’t put anything to waste for all is of value, all is essential.
The heart still feels the pain even though we stay connected to the one true heart of Gaia. We heal her pain, we feel her pain. And in it we heal and we feel our own. It’s a passageway. Destruction into creation. We could set intentions or we could let it all just pass us by, living blind to the true currents of what we wish to create. We are the stream of light of water of consciousness and we are also the form the holds it in place, the riverbed. No way is wrong, no way is incorrect. Hold all the iterations in the palm of your hand and up close to your heart, allow it to rest its sweet delicate head up on your shoulder as you hold and rock and sway. A we walk out of these great caverns of red together. I will hold you, my dear. I will hold you through. And out, I will carry you to greater shores, clearer skies, where the trees are ripe with Lucious fruit. This is why it is the way that it is, so we may carry one another through. Guide you to the other side, I want nothing more than to be here with you. Words cannot begin to describe the gift you are giving to me, through opening me up from the inside.
I will carry you out and through my dear one, rest you head on my chest. Wash away the rest, I will clean you, clear you, wash you so gently and throughly. I will wrap you up in warmth and tuck you in so sweetly. I am here for you and I am here to be. Forever, for eternity, I will walk you through the deep.
Up up up we will and we travel hand in hand. We band together, all around the globe, around and through the universe. No matter how we may appear. Stoned or sober, bright or otherwise, united in our essence. Beings big and small and round and short. Scales and fins and rough skin and moving edges. Colorful and gray, big eyed and blind. We are united. Evil and good. We stand hand in hand we stand together. All as one.
Why am I not yet fully seeing? What more do I need to know?
That there’s no use in running, hiding, fawning or freezing. You’re in full illumination my dear, I see you sneaking cookies from the cookie jar, hoping no one will notice. I see you. I see you so clear. How you try and hide the words from me to hear, but I see you and i see you so clear. There’s no thing to run from. To hide or to fake. It’s all part of the celebration, a great birthday cake. This is your initiation, your party of becoming. Embracing our unity, we stand hand in hand, I am you, you are I, one with this land.
Do you hate the number 9? I know someone who does. What number do you like instead. 3? Or 4? Or 6? I reached out when my face was covered in cobwebs to a love that lights me up. They said ‘of course! I’m always just one call away’ a being so bright they might as well blind the sun. How could I show myself like this? With googly eyes and wild hair. A mirror to you. A mirror to my love.
I wanna see you fully, and in you I wanna be fully seen. Why is this what we crave. Over and over and over again, yet when time comes, there’s a hesitation, just a single beat before we step over the edge. An exhale into submission, into surrender, into the fall. Trusting the wings will catch me as I know they always do.
See me fully dear one and eat me up if that’s what you so desire. I will sit back watching. Observing, plying, rejoicing. The slithery moves of the underbrush. They sneak their way out into plane sight ready to be seen again, ready to do the devouring. Fantasies always come back up to the surface when they’ve been surprised for too long. The devil reveals itself again. The devil has something to teach me about domination and control. About surrendering my desires to the One. Would you believe me if I let go like this? Harness your powers, show me, let me feel what it’s like to live in your fire element again. You showed me last night in a dream. Now I may wear a mask but then we were so close our skin became one, the desires of the lower realms, the chakras just below the belly. Does something so simple, something so beautiful, will it bring us closer together or will it get us caught up and twisted in chains? Channel the tantra, yet that’s not how it flows, its natural like river, it goes where it needs to go, trust in its routes, each breath is a deeper surrender. I’m just one call away.
The more thinking, the less there is receiving. Let go, feel back into it and see what’s lights you up. Breathe from your heart, connect it to your lower spine. Allow yourself to follow beyond the 4th dimension, up up up up up up up and out of the skull into the ethers above and around. Like cracking up and open a shell the old layers fall away and here I am writing, still half in a suit can we be near one another again without ripping off the skin and instead just being kin.
Why doubt the words that wish their way into creation. What will the others say? And why are we really saying? No need to dabble in guilt, no need to suppress the desire. It’s what brings you life, it’s what rises you higher.
You can never get away if this is what’s truly here to stay, we build bridges between out bodies now we surrender into our hearts. Our breath. One breath. This is how we start. I want you like I’ve never wanted a match more, a wooden stick turned to flame, ,carved you from bone, brought life through the rain. May.
My own personal showers, the star portals come through. I am patient as a jaguar, I wait in the shade, hidden under the fall of night, there’s no need to worry. I’ll be here when you need me, just call on me and there I’ll be. I show up in due time, at my own speed, but I will be there to catch your fall, I’ll be there to write the deed. No rush out here in the jungle, out here we walk in step with the drums. The hums of cicadas and the calls of the birds. I am here for you dear one, you below the surface. And I right here and now. You’ve waited for me patient and in a breath I take a bow. The stories once were written from the books I read as young, of princes, princess and witches. Now all past ways simply come undone.
Delight and open up to the shower of a brand new dawn and day. The magnificent colors of the jungle are here for us to play.
