A spell or a curse

I walk upon soggy ground. Light rainfall bestows -the earth and I hear all of your thoughts. I try and keep the channels quiet and I try and shut it out but I’ve gone so deep that I hear it all and I wonder if this is really true or if I’m just falling. Like Alice through the looking glass, a mirror reflected so bright and true, I looked right in and I fell right through. Do I really know you or do I only see what I’d wish to know?

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve shared with you, I promise there’s much more to come. There’s been buckets and buckets of tears that have been shed, and therefore much more room for love. She writes like poetry, a spell or a curse, I promise I won’t tell you anything that’s not outside of this verse.

Chickadees swoop for sunflower seeds, they glide down then flap and soar high, bringing lightness to this cool gray sky. The sun has poked through in glimmers, and I hold fast to the faith of how it burns inside. I find you within my words and workings, there’s no more space to hide.

Do I write to myself or a version of another? A blanket over your eyes that I’d love to uncover.

My dreams told me that my thoughts are a feedback loop creating my reality. So when I saw you slug back your beer I wondered if it was of my creation. Can I see you in your fullness in the midst of annihilation?

I could go inside, I could run and hide, or I could glamorize the creation. The space that I find myself in. How beautiful it is that I always find myself in some space, as if waking up from a dream. Oh right, here I am again. The sun comes out.

Oh right, here I am again. The one who has say in all of it. The one who has a bright, burning, beating heart that knows where to go, what to do, and what to start. I have a great bright burning soul inside of me that needs creation. Communication, compensation, connection. The chickadee flys ever closer upon each swoop down. 3 feet away from where my right foot grounds this whole experience.

Last time, I told myself I would find the way back, I would find the answers and I would find the way back for her, for you, for me. I’d go into the depths of the deepest sea and I would find the key and swim it to shore and gift it to those in need. Chickens cluck along the wind. I am here to share there is nothing that you need to fear. I am here to hold your hand, this is the deep underwater tour. We move through with compassion, grace, and open hearts. Not to oogle or gawk but to remember, to love, to partake and to feel. To know so that we may know how to heal.

Like a tour of the great Jurassic World, will these creatures break through the sands that are ever shifting and falling. Is there really anything to hold tight to? I hear our hearts and truth. The sliver, the glimmer, and then the full conscious illumination of it. There’s nothing wrong, there’s nothing bad. What if the safety mechanisms don’t work? What if I’m unable to hold onto my heart and glide myself gently upon the currents back up to the surface? You will never fall short, I promise you. That is why it is that I am right here with you. A heart anchored deeply within truth. A heart aligned with the heart of our great mother Gaia, she steers our ships, gifting our bodies, souls, minds hearts. Fruits! Papaya!

There’s nothing you need to fear down here. When we recognize and know this, see them, us all as our fellow expressions of light, of shadow, of song, of being. There’s nothing to fear. They are simply different expressions, that we can see reflected within our own faces as well. This is how we can seek, and receive love for all, for all of us for all of the,. When we float, glide, swim with peace in our minds bodies hearts and souls, when we allow the waters to move us, in right relationship. An equal dance of consciousness and surrender, we know and we feel that there is nothing we need to fear. We have guides, we have angels, we have support.

Welcome in, this is your ticket into the circus.

🗝️

I always wondered if it was bad to go buy a ticket. To watch and to oogle at the traveling show. The creature within me just wanted to see, just wanted to know. To watch and to gawk at the wildness of the creatures on display. With bright hearts and minds and consciousness, did what they do feel like play? Or were they simple animals in pens?

Chickadee is within 2 feet of my left foot now and swoops up near my head. An anchor back into this realm. Cold damp earth beneath my bare feet. The sun shines on my left hand and leg through parting clouds.

~

I am remembering more now. My own participation within the traveling show. The traveling circus of freaks. I wrote the scripts and brought all beings into the dark of the abyss, oh how they held on so tightly to one another and then scratch and flick and I lit a match bright. The space around my face illuminated bright. The only light within the dark caverns and caves. They starred in awe as the stories began. As we felt in and heard the shutters groan and rumble as dragons outside danced under moonlight. They may have been afraid yet I felt at peace. A heart opened in a space of true release. I felt and I watched as bodies started to settle and let go, no need for frantic fear, no place yet to go but inside. Opening up to the realms of the unseen, the realms of the night. I watched children with wild eyes and open hearts experience pure delight and ecstasy as they were confirmed in their knowings all along. Someone one else sees them too, someone else knows them, someone else experiences them. I smiled kindly seeing deep within knowing eyes. A mutual recognition. Parents remained holding their hands, still struggling to keep their heads above water as all those who took their last breath of sweet air plunged beneath the surface. Once down here, I begin. Explaining all the sights and the ways. How our bodies in this state can actually breathe underwater, and all that we need for illumination is our own vessels, all that you need is your soul and your light body. There are a the few whom have not activated in this way before and instantly begin to sink like dark stones to the bottom of the depths. In this case I call upon their angels to hold and guide them and keep them with the rest of the pack, the explore crew, and the bring them back up to the surface in right time when the tour is over and it’s time to go back home. I know they always come back for more, it’s the circus after all, how can you ever resist the freak within you. We’re all part of it, some have just allowed it to be seen.

Then, with all safety measures in place: you heart as your guide, your breath as your anchor, your angels to assist you and give you answers, clarity, direction, safety and protection; we explore.