The dessert
This feels like the dessert. The sweet treat at the end of the night. The thing that really makes me feel the delight of my full body and being and life. To trust in the process and to surrender into the flow. Is it ever really too late for you? This I surly know is not the case, it’s never too late, that’s what I hear. What is the weight that you bear upon your shoulders and why do you do it alone? Is it because you feel the shame, unable to accept the invitations of others, to receive the gift of an offering of it being lifted. Is it a weight you have carried around for ages, centuries, decades, lifetimes? A guilt so great you feel unable to share it with others, how could you unload what has been dropped upon you, for surly it would squash them to death like a small child under a 1000 pound hay bail and a mistake of the farm. Parents who weren’t around to watch and keep him safe.
Is that the weight that you carry? The stories that you picked up from others? Are these the devices that bring you down? An idea to keep your aggression in check, to not be too over the top, too much, too dramatic or too forward? What would it feel like to scream at the top of your lungs and to cut the leash. The chains of the vicious dog that keep it in place. Don’t worry, there’s a chain link fence to keep the dog, to keep the killer away from being bit. They had to edit out the wagging of its tail, you know, you see its all cgi and the dog was a paid actor who loved its job, so happy with his contribution, they had to cut out what showed this to the world to make the appearance of an aggressive beast for a film. A blockbuster hit.
I was told today, by the sister of a client, that she is Evil. She believes it, and she knows it. And I have her scheduled for a tattoo next week now. They posed the question: “are you okay with doing this now that you know that she’s evil?” I said “yes, it’s fine, I’ve tattooed all kinds of people”. No one as forward as that though with how they see themselves. It brought up my own questions, as all is a mirror of the self. And I know that only the perfect clients for me come to me, so what am I here to see in her, to see within myself, and what is to come of this?
I have always wondered if there is pure Good and pure Evil in this world and what that really means. I deeply believe that underneath all of our layers we’re all just love and pure light, no matter how dark we may seem, I wonder if this is truly the case. I used to believe that I was evil, or thought that because I had horrible thoughts and suffered so deeply and sometimes wished that upon others that I was this force of chaos and destruction, dark as the deepest pits, I believed I was evil. The thing is, I am a force of chaos and destruction, and creation, but now I know that I am not evil. Self proclaimed. I am love, love is awareness.
All that we do is either creation or destruction, yet we need both, the total polarity to manifest and to create anything within our lives. We are forces of chaos because from chaos we were born. A series of particles put together in a perfect energetic sequence, creation of perfect harmony.
The self limiting thoughts, the dark pits of suffering and hell, and the endless cycles of fear and terror are what are truly evil, and I believe that we then work with these evil forces when we call more of this energy into our lives, but that does not mean that that is the essence of who we are. We have access to both sides, both ends of the spectrum, the whole circle and sphere and all the energy in all the other planes all the time. Our choice always exists on which ones we want to use, which energy we would like to create with. To destroy, or to create. Or the use of both and how we go about it.
Destruction is necessary for the spaces to open up for new creation. We’ve destroyed old layers of the self in order to be where we are now, to create again. I heard someone say that today. I wrote it down, and I write it down again. Three times over the message has been relayed. The self is it all. God is it all. We destroy in order to create, yet destruction can be controlled. It can be channeled with precautions. Like blowing up a mountainside to build a bridge through or mining for crystals and gold. Still there are inherent dangers, yes, but the destruction is calculated and performed in a meticulous manner. With planning and precision, the rocks explode and new space is formed and new materials are presented.
Destruction sometimes also comes to us from the outside, in ways that are not predictable or able to be channeled in a super direct manner. In these instances we are presented with another choice: do we use what has been lost as a curse, that binds us to what was thrown out or discarded or destroyed, or to we take the raw, raw materials and use it to rebuild into something new. After all the dust has settled, and we have regained our footing, we being to rebuild.
Whether that’s the earth after the destruction of a hurricane or esthquake, or our hearts after a shattering and loss. We can choose to fall down with the rubble or we can stand to rise when our legs regain their strength. Take what has exploded as a portal and doorway into something so entirely new. One of the most beautiful things with destruction is the entire clean and clear slate that is provided. Anything, literally anything can be built from the ashes of what was once there. Nothing left to hold it in place, a whole new vision must be breathed, created, and received.
What if the destruction is something too far gone to build from? How does one mend their heart after their family has been taken, their entire lives and homes and personhood, how does one use the ashes of these horrors as a fuel? Maybe it’s in rebellion. Maybe the pain is what’s used to awaken a dormant fire energy within that pushes them forward to topple over the systems that caused the pain, the hurt, the uncontrolled or targeting destruction, and the malice of evil inflicted upon beings who had no defense.
How do we see the love within these situations, within these conditions, these beings? How do I even have any credibility to speak on any of this? These grandiose things we speak about from the comfort of our homes and couches as we watch on little computer screens and black boxes. At least it wasn’t me, the comforting voice in the mind squeaks, as we try and shush it away to offer out sympathies and understanding. We may protest and rally yet no voice has been heard for the big machine works from this other space, this space that has no regard for the voices of those on the ground. It only wishes to consume, and to destroy, and take. And it’s all for energy and power.
How do we really stand up to this? How can we really fight back? What can we do to protect ourselves in our little lives when so much suffering and heat seems to sear the face of the planet? What are we really here to do? To support our brothers and sisters across the earth and the globe?
As within, so without.
Trite, I know, but go within. Dive deep. Discover and awaken. And stand tall and strong and unwavering in your light. Become a beacon so powerful that the big machine, the entity of fear has no place in you mind, your body or your soul. That the soul sucking parasites have no access to you, for they simply fall away, are blinded, and pushed back, for the light is eternally stronger than the darkness. And the darkness has no defense to the light. The light of love, and the light of illumination. Find all the lost, hidden, fragmented, and scattered parts of yourselves. All the aspects that have flown away, out of pain or loss or death or whatever it may be, find those paths, and call them back to you. Become the magnet that attracts your light home. All fractured torn and broken bits come flying right back to you when you stand strong from your heart. All that was lost in conflict is reclaimed and reintegrated, for the light knows how to do this with impeccable ease.
Now is the time to awaken. THIS is the moment you have been waiting for. Lifetime after lifetime after lifetime of staying down and hidden and needing to dim yourself and your true light, it all comes to a close here and now. For you are needed, you are necessary. To be seen. To shine. To radiate and expand that light of your heart out, out, out. Igniting the light in others around who are ready, spreading the torch from the ground up. Awakening the light from underneath the thick veil of darkness that has threatened to consume. No more. We have trained for this. We know how to see in the dark, we have these abilities and senses that we have trained in other incarnations, in this planetary system and in others. To know what to do, even when seemingly blind. TRUST. trust, trust, trust your heart. It knows the way. It knows the right path. How to guide you, where to lead you, how to help you, and in turn how to help all others.
This is the rebellion. Because this is what we can do. This is how we help those overseas. By pulling off the darkness, and shining brighter by the second. The light cannot be put out, and we are all doing it together. All across the planet, the globe, the whole universe, lighting up the shadows of the past, and the corruptions of the present.
Illuminate your own inner voices of hatred, shame, evil, and guilt. Notice where you are engaging with this energies and trust in your light to reclaim your trust self back from them. When the voices threaten to drag you down, do what lights you up, and don’t stop. Be unwavering in your truth. Unwavering in your devotion to yourself. Unwavering in your devotion to the planet and to All. This is how we truly help, for we are safe in our homes and we have the space and time if we choose to create it. This is how we unify. Rebellion against fear through living through love. Through balancing our energy, recharging our nervous systems, finding peace, and spaciousness, and calm and happiness and joy. Grounding this energy into the planet because it can be felt out way way way beyond our current scope of comprehension. And evil and darkness has no events against light, for light is God; and God is Love.
Love means seeing all parts of us and accepting and loving all unconditionally. Each cell, each molecule in our being. Lighting it up and loving it. Loving it as it’s dim and as it shines, all parts are worthy and deserving of our care and respect. To bow down to the darkness parts of us means to fully reclaim our light. To bow down in deep reverence for what they are teaching us. How they have served us. Thank you for bringing me home to me. Thank you for guiding me. Thank you for being as you are, completely, for without you, I would not know the totality of me. Thank you for shining and being me creating though the creations destroyed my gardens and my temples of light, thank you for gifting this to me. For in it I am shown your beauty and your power, I realize and understand how to build beyond duality; how to know that all is and was necessary. The complete shadows and the blinding light, it’s what makes my entire existence whole and balanced. Thank you for showing me how we can work together, how all aspects can unify and amplify the gifts of the other for the creation of the whole. Thank you for showing me me. Thank you for allowing me to be me, in my totality, thank you for holding me and encouraging me to grow and to play and to explore and to choose love, to choose what lights me up, however it looks. Thank you for bringing more of me up to the surface to reach the light of day.
Thank you for the challenges, the struggles, the pain. Thank you for it all. For without it, I wouldn’t be who I now am today. I wish not for more to come, yet I surrender to the great mystery and know that what is written will be and I am safe to surrender now onto the loving embrace of the unknown.
The struggles brought the pain brought the resiliency and in this I now rest. In my ability to flow, to move and to be, in all aspects in all parts. One with the great mystery.
What a great gift it is to allow yourself to be seen. This is something that can never be taken away. No force of destruction or creation can ever take the truth of who you are within your heart, so in that space find your resting point.
As within, so without.
I love you, all of you. Fully, deeply, and completely. You are seen, you are known, you are loved, held, and cared for.
Xoxo
The infinity
The sword of evil is just a blade. A blade can be used in many ways. To protect or to attack. Use it wisely.
