And so it is
What can we do when the world feels out of control? When there are so many moving parts and no thing to hold onto, what do we do, what do we turn to?
Can we let more of the mystery in? Just a little more, can we surrender to the unknown. Into the softness, that palpable essence of energy. Knowing we can’t control everything yet trusting where we’re being guided to. Trust in the process and the flow to transform chaos into creation. From no thing into something.
We have already lived this, and now we are just simply remembering. We become the person we view ourselves as; if it’s the student, that’s who we become, if it’s the teacher, then that’s who we embody. We must remember our worth, live it, feel it, know that we are these things in order to share it, to express it to live it.
Sometimes I wonder if affirmations are enough, or if instead there are other ways to opening ourselves up into the infinity of our being-ness. I feel like the answer is we don’t try to be one fixed thing, and instead we just allow ourselves to be everything, everything that resonates.
In doing this shadow work we clear out the old programs that were created by our families of origin, and surrounding culture. The belief systems that kept us trapped in loops of blocking, doubting, shaming, and criticizing our true nature. The programs that locked us into versions of the self that were inauthentic to our true light, to our true nature. It feels like clenching the jaw, and locking the heart and mind into these systems of fear, that keep us limited and confined. Out of fears of being alone, trapped, or ostracized for being our true, wacky, miraculous selves.
The antidote, and the way to truly love and express ourselves, is to slowly pry open those doors, and let that light in. But how? How if they’ve been closed for so long? How do we let the light in to show ourselves?
Sometimes I feel like I’m repeating words, words that I’ve heard others say, time and time again, yet maybe they are also just the words that I have been saying to myself, on repeat, unconsciously and unknown, yet also known and threaded throughout each one of these written messages. To you and to myself.
How do we let the light in? We simply just allow.
Why do we continually do the things that we know will keep us down? Limited in some capacity, while we know there is another, easier solution, yet the paralysis keeps us stagnant?
Like staying up so late or watching too many YouTube videos when I know I old just go to bed and wake up feeling refreshed. What in my dream state do I fear seeing? What part of me is needing more love, more integration, more acceptance, more time and care?
We live busy lives, how can I give this to myself when there are already so many plates to spin?
One step at a time. Slow it all down. Send out a prayer. “Please help me to take things slowly” one step to the next, one foot at a time. Steering analyzing, feel the way through. Feel what it feels like to want to do something, to need to do something, and to choose something else instead. Neither is bad or wrong or worse, it’s just different. Release the shame and just allow yourself to be in it. To be in your experience, as you are. Fully present with yourself. Allow yourself to feel all that comes up to the surface. The tears or the joy or the frustration, feel it all, feel it all so deeply, in all of your bones.
Feel what it feels like to really just sink back into it. To ride the wave of your heart. Of your body, of your emotions. Notice what comes up, and let it, don’t fight it. Just allow.
Just let it come up, and focus on your breathing as the waves comes and go, as tears fall or as your insides get firey, it’s all just different sensations, it’s all just different experiences. What does that feel like in your body, and can you fall back into it just a little bit more, resting in the spaces in between.
That frustration that you feel, can you feel it a little bit deeper, for a few more moments. Is it in your shoulders or in your belly or in your neck? What color is it? Is it red or is it gray or black? Does it feel heavy or is it lighter than air?
What is the general makeup of your body and how all of these sensations feel inside of you? Can you see how it all looks now?
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I feel like I am talking to others as I write this, so you, when you see this, know that this is for you. This is directly and exactally for you, you are currently in my mind as I type this, and you are so damn beautiful and loved.
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How do you feel now? Has any of it dissipated? of transformed into something else? Do you want it to transform more? You can always ask for help, send out a request into the ether, with either words or just the mind, “please help me transform this into something useful”
I feel I am both the student and the teacher, and it all depends upon my view. The angel at which I sit, am I above or below, or are we all just equal.
That is what I prefer, because it allows me to be all parts of myself with ease. No need to change or be something different. Just to be me as I am.
Thank you ♥️
